What’s to say that he isn’t doing to her what she is doing to you?
It seems to me as though, strangely enough, you and she are actually in a rather similar position.
Someone, dare I say it, that you only appreciate by his absence. If you feel you can’t bear not to reply to her, wait a week before doing so. To get back on friendly terms after being so badly treated doesn’t reflect well on how you think about yourself. Let her imagination run riot as she thinks of you with a new girlfriend.
My piece of advice to you is one that is really difficult to take. However fond you are of her, it’s not an unnatural way to behave. If she rings you, either don’t answer or pick up and quickly say you’ll ring back – and then wait a couple of days. It shows you have no self-respect, and that’s not attractive. So keep away, for a while at least, and don’t hurry into amiable correspondence in your rush to try to get back together again. Keep her awake at night as she torments herself with the idea of you making new friends.
I think you should also be worried about rekindling a relationship with someone who has said she couldn’t love you fully. It is always hard to get back on the dating scene after a break-up, but wounds do heal.Philippa Dowlingby email I have a friend from way back who is the mother of two adult children, one of them my godson.This friend can’t stop praising her daughter, and constantly goes on about how wonderful she is – but she seems to be unable to stop putting the boy down. Should I say something and back him up, or do nothing?The fact that you’re apart from each other should make it easier to separate things in your head – you can work on your relationship with her, and if things start to get better, then great.If nothing has changed at the end of three months, then maybe it’s time to rethink, but by then you may have met someone exciting and new; you won’t be any further back.
And it consists of such a corny three words that you’ll probably dismiss it out of hand. Look, she’s dropped you like a hot brick – why should you, when she gets in touch, be so quick to respond? No one wants to go out with someone who they’ve treated badly and who comes grovelling back for more punishment. And let her memory play havoc as, with distance to distort it (or, who knows, clarify it), you appear much more alluring in her eyes than you did when you were close to hand.