Part of what makes this challenging is that while they feel free to cut into whatever is going on with you and your guy, they aren’t actually interested in you. Being the object of such atttention is of course very flattering, so you’re dude will probably love this.
Not so much fun when you’re exhausted, schmoozed out and really just want to hang tight with the dude. Learn to accept it and learn to extract yourself, if possible, with a smile.
Additionally, bands spend long hours together on tour buses, airplanes, etc., and endure the hardships of the road which can be deep bonding experiences. If your fella is somewhat famous you will need to learn to deal with that and it’s not always easy.
You’re not part of that, but it’s better if you can include it in your field of awareness and sensitivity. You will find yourself in public situations that are quite challenging.
Breathe into that and know that you are blessing the world by your being.) 6. Being in a long term relationship with a musician entails long periods of separation. Unless your guy is a session musician, you will be apart a lot. Unexpected situations always arise, group dynamics can be tricky, traveling is exhausting. Relationship with a musician (possibly with any other artist) means that you come after the music. You’ll be happier and thus have a better relationship. I’ve made some horrible messes and behaved in ways I’m not proud of.
Have somewhere you can go to regroup and recharge, even if it means going back to the hotel and spending some time on your own.
Your hubby has earned the fan love and he enjoys it. Let him have it and don’t make your frustration an issue in your relationship. You will inevitably find yourself in social situations with star-fuckers and sycophants, many of whom won’t ask you anything beyond your name and if you go on the road with your guy the whole time. Don’t be swayed from the certainty of who you are in your being and the importance of your particular gifts and skills.
This can be lonely and difficult and you will be the one holding down the fort at home. This means that your guy won’t always be able to be there for you in the ways you’d like. Understand there are times when the stresses of the road are too consuming, and dealing with your need for support is more than he can handle. Again, don’t make this mean that your dude doesn’t love you; it’s different than that. I particularly haven’t always been able to remain gracious and smiling at times when it would have been optimal.
On the plus side, you get to have lots of time for yourself to pursue your own creative endeavors. It’s helpful for you to have some friends that you can turn to at such times. I know you probably want to, at least for the first five years! If he’s a successful musician, he is driven by his art and his drive to share that passion and he needs public recognition of his talent and hard work. The more you can support it, the more juice you’ll get back. But the rewards of sharing your life with a musician are huge. Obviously you love music, otherwise you’d never have connected with the muso. It infuses our lives with joy, beauty, nuance and depth.
I’ve been doing this for eight years now and have learned a few things along the way. The best way you can support your man is by looking after yourself (at the appropriate time) so that you can be the smiling goddess he wants you to be.