Meanwhile, you are so fed up you "very rarely go over to his house or interact with his family." It sounds like neither you nor the mother has found a way to broker a peace — and it's not clear to me from your email that either of you has ever tried to be the bigger person.
Seven years is a long time to fight over something so fundamental — and it sounds like this situation reached a breaking point when you broke up. Realistically, it sounds like you have only a few options if you want to stay together.
Oh, and one last thing: Stop looking at his damn phone!
I have been dating my boyfriend for the past seven years.
I saw my boyfriend during this time period, but I refused to do anything sexual with him, saying I still needed time. He spits in my face, calls me a worthless whore, and goes on dates with other women, and then tells me about it. If this guy spits in your face and calls you "a worthless whore" and rubs it in your face that he's going on other dates, don't use it as an opportunity to reflect on what you've done. It sounds like, on some level, you feel like you deserve this bullshit. Eye-for-an-eye relationships — where he cheats on you because you cheated on him; he hurts you because you hurt him, and so on — don't get better. Frankly, it sounds like this relationship has been a mess for a while, and I think the best thing you can do at this point is move on. Given that this is my first long-term relationship, I had no idea how to react.
The last time I saw his friend was on my boyfriend's birthday. I left for work and received a text from my boyfriend asking me to call him. I want to be with him — he was the man I saw myself marrying. But sometimes, you've just got to admit when a relationship is FUBAR: fucked up beyond all repair. So I asked him about it and he said that he felt this way about her before we started dating and not now because he loves me (which is the first time he has said that to me). If you hadn't invaded his privacy, this might never have been an issue.
It has gotten to the point where all three of us have gone to therapy to work on it.