So she was very much like, ‘You’re not in that position, you don’t have to do that, and you should finish school and don’t prioritize your relationships over focusing on school.’”SUSAN: “I’ve always had a very difficult relationship with my parents. My parents were too busy to pay attention because they were involved with illicit relationships, and I got molested at, like, 5.There were all these things that happened throughout my childhood until my teenage years. I want to start a family of my own.’”SUSAN: “There’s an element of all this that should be open territory for every person to discover on their own.And once I did, I thought to myself, ‘How have I been missing out on this?I should have been figuring out my body when all the boys did, when I was 10 or 11 years old.’ I thought that was crucial for her to know, that when she was ready for the idea of sex, or the questions start coming up in her brain, that should be the first step.The typical Latino saying is that children are borrowed. God lets us borrow them to do the best we can with them and let them go when the right time comes.“When she was much younger, I remember when I let her ride a bike to school for the first time, and I needed that as much as she did.I needed to say to myself, ‘She knows what she’s doing.
And while many moms and daughters might find that level of mutual disclosure uncomfortable, at the very least, the Vargases say it’s only made their relationship stronger.I grew up thinking that sexuality was mine, but also something I could verbally communicate with my mom, if that makes sense.Iin terms of us having a conversation about our sexuality, as in my sexuality, I was maybe 10 or 11?The only attempt I ever made at having a conversation with her about sex was me asking her about oral sex when I was 15, and she got super pissed off, so I never made another attempt to ask her about it again.It became my mission to not do the same with Alanis.”ALANIS: “Yeah, just because I was in a sex-positive household, that doesn’t mean my mom wanted to be in the same place as her, having a kid in my teens, which I think is part of the reason why we were such a sex-positive household.”ALANIS: “Yeah, and I’ve never felt like my mom regrets having me, because my mom wouldn’t be in the place she is now if it weren’t for me.
But she was in a different situation than I am now.