However, at the same time you know you are treating yourself as if you do not deserve someone who could be there for you 100%.
Reading the above may bring up strong feelings that you haven’t been aware of before.
Safe, yet in danger Being in love creates a sense of safety, yet the foundation for this safety feels, at it’s core, shaky.
You know he could decide at any time to stop the affair and try to work on the marriage, or that his wife or someone else can find out and blow his cover.
Self-righteous, yet guilty You tell yourself you deserve to be happy, that you are making him happy.
You may even tell yourself you are helping him to be a better husband by the love and comfort you provide.
If you weren’t providing an escape from another relationship, would he still want you?You find yourself forgoing activities that you used to enjoy that might make you unavailable to him should he suddenly have time to see you.The silence of the phone can feel like the bars of this prison.Your sense of intimacy with your lover can seem more intense when he becomes one of the few people you can really talk to.Free, but a prisoner You have been freed from the dating game, from the painful aspects of being single, yet you are tied to his schedule.
If talking to your lover is making it worse, it is important to break your isolation by finding someone who you can trust to talk to.