But here’s the deal—as opposed to my friend who met someone one night and made out with him in a bar, you’ve formed a relationship with this person and it sounds like you’d be interested in pursuing it further.
Since you’ve been dating him for a bit now, you can easily discuss your likes and dislikes and let him know that you love slow, gentle kisses, but have a hard time with an aggressive tonguester.
The straight man’s perspective: Chris Kennedy You’re on the right track here, KB.
Gently coaching and complimenting him when he doesn’t tongue-whack your face like a 99¢ car wash is the way to go.
This way, you’re not necessarily calling him out on his technique, just making him keenly aware of your preferences.
As you’re kissing the next time, if he starts licking you like a kitten on a bowl of milk, pull away, smile, grab his chin, and say, “gentle” and then lead the way.
But if I were with a girl who was “funny, nice, sweet, and sexy as hell,” I would consider making her a better kisser time well-spent. If we’re basing this answer on his kissing abilities, I’d say that the answer is no. In addition to that there is an option “D.” Kiss him the way he’s kissing you. It’s a gutsy move, but there’s nothing like having a taste of your own medicine.
Bottom line: this is not a deal breaker for you right now. If he’s as funny and smart as you say, he’ll catch on that he needs to improve his smooch. Tell him it’s time to pucker up and leave the tongue-wagging to the dogs.
You don’t have 501(c)(3) status, after all, so if he doesn’t get it right soon, stop the charity and move on.
A bad kiss may not necessarily end things (or no relationship would ever get off the ground), but you might decide that the jury is still out on sexy.
Kissing is the gateway drug; it either gets you revved up for the next stage, you decide it’s not good enough and move on, or, in your case, you start administering tutorials on wandering tongues, which is about as sexy as making out with James Lipton from Inside the Actor’s Studio.
This perspective check notwithstanding, kissing compatibility with your mate is important. All these things will give you clues into how he moves through life. He’s not using his lips right, but you have an opportunity to use your words correctly and start a conversation.
It’s the foundation for your physical relationship. If you can’t do that, then you’re right, and you two don’t stand a chance.
I had a friend tell me once that he made out with this guy in a bar we’d both met at the same time.